Congress Can Shove the Robocall Bill up Its Pork-Fed Ass

Since 1991 , marketing robocalls in the US have been as tightly regulated as medicine , meth , and murder . But ifHR 3035makes its agency through Congress , it ’s go to be open season for the automaton to call your cellphone .

Do NOT let this happen .

When you think of statute law that blatantly values corporate interests over consumers , you think of pages and page of arcane nomenclature and lingual trickery , right ? Not this time ! hour 3035 isa wisp of a affair , barely more than a page , meant to amend the Communications Act of 1934 . It ’s ambush in committee now , wait a right to vote in the House of Representatives . It ’s so straightforward that it ’s impressive . imposingly ballsy and evil .

HR 3035 ( also roll in the hay , putridly , as the “ Mobile Information Act of 2011 ” ) makes three independent points , each increasingly unspeakable . So permit ’s take the air through them , shall we ? Put your tiny hand in mine …

1. A Robocall Is Not a Robocall

batten leadoff is the attempt to redefine what exactly constitutes an illegal “ automatic telephone dialing organization , ” which seems pretty ego - explanatory as it is ! But hour 3035 would narrow that definition :

( 1 ) The term ‘ automatic telephone dialing organization ’ think of equipment which utilise a random or sequent figure generator to produce telephone number to be called and to dial such numbers . ’

Conveniently enough , that type of equipment has n’t existed in any quantity for years , according to Delicia Hand of the National Association of Consumer Advocates . It ’s like the NRA press through a nib that limits the definition of “ gun ” to musket and Kentucky rifle .

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The robocalls of the future wo n’t be random . They ’ll actually be worse : They ’ll be targeted . And for every ready to hand UPS package notification ( these are good ) that would come with HR 3035 , an avalanche of debt collectors , vendor , and other harassments would pursue close behind . Because of part two .

allow ’s say you ’re a cute , friendly person ( I mean , you are — you entirely are ) and you give someone your number in a bar one Nox . Nothing out of the average there . What if that mortal use up your number - gift as permit to get over to your theater every night . Forever . Not reasonable ! That ’s hour 3035 :

The condition ‘ prior express consent ’ stand for the oral or written approval of a person … A person who provides a phone number as a mean of contact evidences consent under this paragraph .

That ’s right : the routine of giving your issue to a salesclerk means you are 100 % okay with being robocalled by that clerk ’s incarnate parent in sempiternity . Never mind if you just gave the apothecary your identification number in case of complications , or you abstractedly gave your digit to the Old Navy cashier because you were in a rush . That ’s consent , brother . It ’s also total bullshit .

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And here ’s the thing : The law as it stands already allows robocalls to citizenry who ’ve collapse expressed consent . If you want robocalls , you’re able to get them . They ’re also , for what it ’s worth , already totally legal in the case of an emergency . So what does HR 3035 carry through other than make consumers more vulnerable ? Oh , by the room , it ’s vulnerable mass they ’re after in the first place . That ’s in part three .

3. When “Information” Is Intimidation

The last discussion section of HR 3035 is the one that actually tries to be ingenious , so hats off for that :

( A ) to make any call ( other than a call made for emergency purposes or made with the anterior express consent of the called party ) using any automatic telephone set dialing system or an artificial or prerecorded voice … ( iv ) to any telephony identification number assigned to a cellular phone help , specialised mobile radio service , or other radio common immune carrier servicing , or any religious service for which the called political party is charged for the call , unless the call is made for a commercial-grade purpose that does not represent a telephone solicitation .

Which is to say : people ca n’t call your cellular phone asking you specifically to purchase thing . bang-up , veracious ? Except , obviously , because let ’s be honest who are we talking about here .

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When is a purpose commercial but not solicitous ? Even the obvious cases are annoying : the car dealer you buy from calls you about your warrantee , Delta updates you on your frequent flyer miles . Yuck . But real beneficiaries are the debt collectors and credit board company — the masses who are on your back enough already , now given detached reign to call you every hr on the hour until you kowtow some funds together . air a guy rope to better your kneecap would have ache more , but at least it ’s earnest .

And even beyond that : Is it technically solicitous of J. Crew to text me about a fabulous tumble sale event ? Or is it just a commercial-grade courtesy , knowing that a current customer might desire to know about SAVINGS . I do n’t , by the way . Not on my phone .

Between the Lines

And that ’s just what ’s actually in the note . If mobile phone robocalls were to actually recoil in , guess who ’s footing the bill for all those texts and phone calls ? No , await , do n’t guess . It ’s you . If you do n’t have unlimited interpreter and text plans , you ’ll literally have to pay to be promote to . So there ’s that .

There ’s also just the great weight that we experience every Clarence Shepard Day Jr. of our privacy eroding off into nothing . More than any other machine these day , our phones are our outlets to the sleep of the world . It ’s one place where we have some mastery over what comes in and goes out . We do n’t get spammed on our telephone set ( except by politicians , which is weirdly entirely legal ) . It ’s as safe a haven as we have . And it ’s about to get firebomb .

Look . Here are your punctually elected representative fence that this terrible thing is actually wonderful , along with a handful who merrily call Irish bull and a few mopey lobbyist on both sides . So here ’s what you do : Signthis prayer . Get in touchwith all of them . Tell them you ’re mad . Or better yet , record one message explain how and why you ’re so broken and leave it on their voicemail every hour on the hour .

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